Friday, November 12, 2010

Can you lift me up and turn the ashes into flames

Hello there. Silent night here, not much of the usual night, where we will stay up all night long to study and laugh. Tired of last night I guess. We slept at 630am and woke up at 730am and have to sit for our paper at 9am. Last minute study is paradise. Been doing it through out all the life. 

One more paper to go, finance again and again. Next semester will be my final semester, and it's gonna the semester that will torture me most. 5 finance subject for next semester. Hope I can go through it well. As for this semester, I put on a target to achieve 3.7 pointer at least. That is in order to raise back my cgpa. I really wanna have UK to be the place where I'm gonna get my degree. Please God help me, open a path for me please.

I have issues, with friends and house mates. Dear house mates, if you guys read this, yes I have a problem with you. Living in the house, everything should be easy, but we're going through it as hard as it could be. Okay maybe not you guys, but I am. I just hate back stabbers, 2 faces, and so on. Oh come on, we all are grown up right? You don't have to talk bad about someone on his back. Come and face em, have a man to man talk. That's easy. And stop blaming others for God sake. Stand in front of the mirror and look at yourself. You don't have to pretend that you're taking consideration of all the people, but the truth is you're not. You're such a coward. I'm sorry for writing this here. If you read and you don't agree, it's up to you. If you don't feel like talking to me anymore, I don't mind because I don't feel like talking to you too. You said you care about everyone eh? Do you really care about what's happening to me? You don't, and don't pretend you care. Not even once. I choose to back off. You don't have to say good things to me, you don't have to treat me good as well. I just don't need that. I'm not gonna explain even a bit. And looking back at everything, we just can't pin point anyone of us for their wrong doings. Don't act as if you are forever and all the time the right one. You did the same thing too. It's just that when you feel uncomfortable with the situation, you start to blame others and not yourself. That easy? The only thing that makes us this way it THE FACT THAT WE ARE NOT TOLERATING WITH ONE ANOTHER, fullstop.

Lucky me I still have those who turns me down less, they are my shoulders to cry on, endless thanks to you lovelies :')

Long enough for me to blab about something that makes me unhappy, I wish I could go through the remaining days as peaceful as it could be, and then off for holidays to refresh and rejuvenate.
Lots of love :)

Darling, wait until Sunday and we're off to home 


piko said...

'Last minute study is paradise'
this is classic.

aion said...

Ohh yin. Be strong about your housemate tu. The older we get, the more backstabber we found. Same here, again. Heheheh. Bestnyaa UK for degree. Take care yin, GOOD LUCK! :D

::ayn:: said...

Pikopi, kan? Hehe I'm sure u did the same thing to, okay I mean, ur still doing it now kan? Haha love u darling :*

Hi ain, ye saya I am and will always be, no worries :D Doakan lah ye for UK tu, Insyaallah. Masih dlm perancangan ni. Okay darling u take care too :))

NuRuL AiN said...

walau pun ain tau sikit2 je pasal korg, tapi satu je yg ain nak cakap .. "air yang dicincang tidak akan putus"! gaduh2 tu biasa dlm prsahabatan..but yg membezakan nya adalah cara kita hadapi. n i hope next sem..x kn ada lagi perkara2 mcm ini.kita sama2 berubah.bukan suruh org lain je berubah..ok?be strong my fren..

::ayn:: said...

Yes ain, itulah yang saya cuba sampaikan, janganlah main tuduh tuduh orang je kan, tolak ansur takde nak buat mcm mana. Hee but takpelah everything's fine je. Thanks anyway! :)