I see a distant light

 We've all been lost for most of this life 
Everywhere we turn more hatred surrounds us 
And I know that most of us just ain’t right 
Following the wrong steps, being led by pride

With peace of mind so hard to find 
We're dwelling on the drastic signs 
Another way to numb our mind 
And as you close your eyes tonight
 And pray for a better life 
You’ll see it flying helplessly away

 

Someday, I'll understand . Will I ?

Petang ini saya membuat peng-konsideran untuk duduk dan meng-update blog . Focus utama lebih kepada meluahkan apa yang terpendam di dalam diri, semua yang terpekung di dada, melontarkan suara menggunakan kata-kata, agar diri ini dapat merasai keselesaan untuk melalui hari-hari yang mendatang .

Awal mula pertama mula, digalakkan kepada sesiapa yang happen to be reading this, please leave me some wise words and it would make me feel glad, and it shows that ada jugak orang baca my blog ni, and to show that you care .

Ditemani dengan lagu Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson yang tiba-tiba sahaja berputar on my playlist yang tgh berada di 'shuffle mode' , sangat sesuai untuk saya meluahkan isi hati ini .

Get on board a fast train

Travel on a jet plane

Lagu tu cakap macam tu, and that's what I wanna do now . Dalam dunia realiti, fantasi mahupun virtualiti, saya kelihatan agak penuh dengan konfusi atau mungkin tidak ? Hilang, that's the right word for me . Saya rasa hilang, macam chipsmore pon ada jugak . Kejap ada kejap tak ada . Apa yang kejap ada kejap tak ada ? My strength, maybe ? Tapi nampak macam kuat je kan ? And saya pon rasa kuat je . Mungkin tak ada masalah di situ ? Jadi apa masalah sebenarnya ? Mungkin tak ada masalah pon . Diri sendiri je yang menimbulkan masalah itu . Entah lah .

Oh, saya nak kongsi masalah saya dengan anda semua . Masalah ini saya lalui setiap bulan . I repeat, EVERY MONTH . And saya perlukan pendapat anda tentang masalah ini okay . Bukan masalah period tau, hehe . Ummm, as you all know, or you might not know, or tahu but buat buat tak tahu, or apa apa sahaja, I just went through a Big-Break-Up which leads to a Major-Heart-Breakdown . I just went through ke ? Tak tau lah . Help me with this , should I say "Dah Enam Bulan OR Baru Enam Bulan"  ??

Kadang-kadang I feel eveything was so fast, like baru je semalam saya di Break-Up kan oleh mereka-mereka . Tapi itu bukan masalahnya . The issue is, sejak dari the incident, I have this 26th and 27th  ISSUE of EVERY MONTH . Tak tahu lah if saya ni sebenarnya Psychologically  Affected with the incident or what but cuba you guys dengar, eh silap haha . Cuba you guys baca dulu cerita saya ni okay  and saya sedar benda ni pon lepas dah beberapa bulan berlaku . Masa awal awal tu tak sedar pon but now dah jadi ENAM KALI . 

Alaaaa, sebenarnya bukan masalah pon . Eh haaaaa, tengok ! I dah get confused dah . Sigh . Okay okay, benda dia senang sahaja . Every 26th or 27th of EACH MONTH since August 2009 saya mesti akan sedih, mesti akan menangis . It's not like bila I tgk je calendar and terus mcm "Eh ! Harini 26th/27th, menangis lah jom !" NOOOOO ! Bukan macam tu . It's like this, one day of  every month saya akan tiba tiba jadi moody, or diam, or like sedih, or cepat terasa, or tiba tiba org buat lawak pasal saya yang berkaintan dgn EN R (bukan nama sebenar) saya akan terasa dengan dahsyatnya, atau tak dahsyat pon mesti terasa dan akan ye, saya ulang, AKAN MENANGIS ! Bila dah sedih tu, saya pasti akan melihat calendar kalau tidak pada waktu tersebut, atau sesudah rasa sedih reda, atau keesokkan harinya tgk calendar, saya akan mendapati bahawasanya tarikh hari tersebut jika tidak 26th mesti 27th of the month . Pelik ? Ke tak Pelik ?

Kalau anda semua sedar, tarikh hari ini is 27th of January . Tanyalah saya dah menangis ke belum ? Jawapan saya dengan Bangganya - Sudah ! Bila ? Semalam, on the 26th . Pukul 2 3 pagi and saya sedar yang semalam bertarikh 26th, pagi tadi . Setiap kali lepas tgk the date (for the past few months ni lah kan) I will definitely cakap "OH PATUTLAH" haha, rasa macam Funny pon ada, but still Confused and Entah lah . Macam-macam lagi lah mixed feelings . Oh anyway, the Break-Up thingy to falls around 26th 27th and thats why lah jadi macam ni . Tapi still rasa macam tak patut oh ! I'm gonna be TWENTEEN in ONE MONTH and for sure lah I DON'T WANNA BE SAD ON MY BIG DAY NANTI . Tapi kalau sad jugak nak buat macam mana kan . Tak lama pon sedih nya tuu . I'll be Okay in No Time juga nanti .

Selesai my first issue, I have my second and third and forth and so Issues, tapi I'll update later okay . Now Imma go berehat berehat sebentar tanpa Kit Kat because nanti at 8pm I nak pergi Library, my friend minta ajar kan Law . Wah wah, but then bukan nak ajar, we gonna have discussion lah . I dah ajak kroni-kroni yang lain to join . So okay lah ! Catch you later, pakai jaring ye  :)

Thank you, Loves .

All I wanted to do is fall apart now

I nak tulis regarding the title but I am so sleeeepy . Nanti lah I update . Nights .

I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to, yes I do

Good Morning,

Motif post pagi ni ialah ;

1 - Saja saja suka suka
2 - I have no class, so post je lah blog kan ?
3 - Nak sambung cerita semalam . . .

Mr Happiness datang pagi tadi yang pukul 0747hours . I got a phone call, call suruh bangun pergi class padahal orang tu pon tak nak pergi class . I memang tak payah pergi class today, sebab I memang have no class on Tuesday, so nak buat apa pergi class, sebab tak ada class pon yang nak terima I . Okay dah mengarut . What ever it is, thank you :) Lepas cakap on the phone like 8 minutes macam tu, we both pon sambung lah melayari mimpi indah .

Now I dah bangun and dah lama pon I bangun actually but I terus get online sebab I nak text org pakai Broadband (credit zero hour ) So kena lah turn on PC ni and sangkut lah online terus . I rasa I have to pergi mandi now sebelum Cik Arwen and Jessica Alba call I marah sebab tak siap lagi kan ? We're going out nak celebrate Birthday Si Arwen ni lah . Just the three of us, nak mengenang nostalgia zaman muda mudi cewahhhh ! Okay lah, catch you later .

Farah,Yinn,Syida

Part One - July 2008

Bye bye, Loves .

How to pull it close, and make it stay ?

Hi semua orang . Saya ada satu soalan .

Why is it bila penat je, mesti rasa sedih ? 
KENAPA KENAPA KENAPA ?

Sigh, tak suka this feelings . Tu lah , tadi happy sangat now dah sedih . And sebenarnya sedih sebab apa je, cuba teka ? Because, I'm waiting for someone to call me tapi tiada sesiapa pon yang sudi . Sesiapa, cepatlah call me because I'm waiting . I nak spill out my kepenatan to you . Cepat lah cepat lah cepat lah .

I just got back from Dewan Sri Temenggung , dewan besar Uitm Johor . Tadi ada MPKP; Malam Pengenalan Kelab & Persatuan . My club punya turn tak nak lah pulak the last one like pfffffffttttttttt . Sumpah penat tunggu ! Nasib baik lah I feel glad after everything dah finish . I dah tell my members semua, We look for Quality not quantity so tak kesah lah ramai orang or not . Turned out everything was okay . Thanks to all Excos, Members, and special thanks to Radzi and Nany , the MC for the night which represents our club :)

Now I tgh bersimpuh dengan penuh kesopanan dan kesusilaan atas lantai online and waiting for the secretary . Suppose we have to finish our proposal because esok, eh jap I mean today lah at 1030 we have to meet our advisor nak edit edit and submit it . Oh, the secretary baru je post something on my wall . Penat sgt, I nak sleeeeeeeeeeeep ! ! ! Wait eh nak read the post . She's coming tapi dia suruh I pick her up kat bawah . I penat lah, lari lah naik atas please :( OKAY, dah cancel meeting esok so takpayah dtg, now TIDUR !

Wait, I went to Melaka 2 days ago, fuuuuuhhhhh sgt sgt penat because I tak tidur the whole night and then I drove balik Johor . Nothing much pon we did, just nak entertain my friends so pergilah here and there . 2 cars, 10 person, 1 whole night, pagi by 930am dah bertolak balik . Dekat highway boleh la pulak this bus driver nak race dgn I like WTF LAH KAU ! Marah gila I that time because I tgh laju kat right lane, then ada one car nak potong so I nak masuk lah left lane tapi ada bus and the bus tak nak slow down and give way for me, instead dia gi laju lagi . BODOH KAN ? WEH PAKCIK DRIVER, KAU PATUT BACA NI ! AKU BENCI KAU SEBAB KAU MEMBAHAYAKAN NYAWA AKU DGN KAWAN-KAWAN AKU LAH BONGOK ! Okay done .
( Harap harap lah pakcik tu baca . )

Meditasi di pagi hari sebelum pulang ke Johor . 

(Lihat peha dah membiak ! DAMN. )

My eyes dah berpinar pinar, phone call tak receive lagi ni :/ so ada potential nak merajuk lagi 21 hours . Kan awak kan ? Terima Kasih lah sebab bagi 'semangat' bila penat ni . Haha, dah lah I nak pegi wash up, pray and then get ready to sleep . Good Luck to me ! Bye bye, Loves  (Doakanlah my source of happiness to call me in no time ok ! )

By the way, Happy Birthday Arwen !

Nama sebenar Nur Saiyidah, tak tau kenapa I kena panggil dia Arwen ^^

Love you, oh dia yang in the middle tu .

18/01/1990

Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear

Selamat di ucapkan kepada kegelapan malam .

For some reason, I am happy tonight . Thank you to whoever that makes me feel this way . The whether is chilly, sejuk sejuk like that and I'm lying on the floor . Satu dua tiga empat lima enam tujuh lapan sembilan SEPULUH hari in Segamat, never a day I slept in tears, or feeling sad or gloomy lagi . Since I still stay kat my  old room, banyak lah memories here, because I've been through a lot kan before but then eventhough my whole day is bad ke apa ke I would definitely smile before I sleep . Somehow, I am recovering day by day I guess, and I'm happy for myself .(clap clap clap!)

Princess and the Frog, I like I like :) I 'm crazy over the firefly guy in that movie . Like gila gila punya gila ! "My name is Raymond,  but you can call me Ray" . Hehe, that Ray tak handsome pon, gigi patah patah semua, bontot menyala berkelip kelip and tonggek lagi but, I likeeeeeeeeeee him ! Ehh, I forgot to tell everyone that I am Evangeline, The Star *shiny shiny star* and that's why I like Ray . He's my soulmate because when he dies, we shine together like diamonds in the sky^^ Comel kan ? Ohhh, Rayyyyy ~~~~~

 Ohmaigod, I'm melting over him (haha spooky tak?)

Okaylah, so today I wish upon Evangeline (which is myself) to find someone like Ray . Orrrrr, have I found it ? Haha you will never know cause I'm not gonna tell you !

Night, Loves .
(Anyway, the title got connection with Ray too^^ )

Making the best of it, playing the hand you get, you're not alone in this

Hi people .

I talked to Faizal just now
Told him about my fear for this semester's performance
So, he asked me to read the Law of Attraction ;

The Law of Attraction argues that thoughts (both conscious and unconscious) can affect things outside the head, not just through motivation, but by other means. Essentially, "if you really want something and truly believe it's possible, you'll get it", but putting a lot of attention and thought onto something you don't want means you'll probably get that too .

Thank you Faizal
I got it and I will only think positive
To get what I want in life
I won't let anything hold me back

Have a good night everyone
Bye bye, Loves .

Cinderella hope and it's all because you made me laugh

Happy New Year, geez lambat gila right ?

Been  not updating for 2 weeks more or less because I was too busy shopping and preparing stuff for Segamat and yes, right now I'm in Segamat and I am half broke because I've used up 2.5/4 of my money  and the remaining balance will also be used and finish in no time . Haha, no no what should I dooooooooo ?

Oh what should I say about New Year heh ? My new year's eve was spent with Encik Bud and I should say it was fun lah . We accidentally wore the same colour of clothes Red + White and everyone was staring at us haha . (Ala kan kalau kita tgk couple couple keluar pakai baju w the same colour rasa annoying kan ? That's why people pandang us that day ) We naik train tau so rasa mcm Wooaaaaaaaahahaha je because selalu kan naik kereta, Lol . So, janji dikotakan, we shoped and weeehooo .

teruja naik train ^^

Midnight, me and my family pegi tgk fireworks kat the favourite spot of BJ's residents semua but this year pokok pokok dah grew taller so kacau our sight and tak nampak sangat ! So we went for the tarik tahun baru and then balik , my PC rosak, HP rosak and my mummy merajuk . So that was my New Year and hahahaha . :/

see, the pokoks blocks the view ;/

Saturday the 2nd we sent Akmal to Stadium Shah Alam, PLKN Kem Nilam Ehsan, Bidor Perak . So if anyone nak melawat him, go lah . Then off to Segamat . . . We (My parents, me and Anis ) spent a night Hotel Villa Segamat, pegi makan ikar bakar and jumpa Santa hohoho .

That was the end of my holiday, and now I have to put my feet back on the ground . Dah takl boeh berangan berangan dah ni nak fairytale or whatever tale is a no no .  With the subjects that I'm taking this semester, and all the ragam manusia, of the class, lecturers, of the college and the students and all I can say  is,this first week  bejaya lah make me stress  sedikit .

 giggly wiggly

Whatever it is, I still have a long wayyyy to go this semester, here .
Loves, from Segamat .