That's what you get when you let your heart win

She lives in a fairytale somewhere too far for us to find

Forgotten the taste and smell of the world that she left behind

She's ripping wings off of butterflies

This isn't what you wanted

I'm always wrong but you're never right
It's not a dream anymore

Well no sir now I don't wanna be the blame not anymore
It's your turn so take a sit we're settling the final score
And why do we lie to hurt so much?
And why all the possibilities I was wrong?

I know you don't believe me but the world see it
Next time you point a finger I might have to bend it back of break it off
Next time you point you finger I'll point you to the mirror

You treat me just like another stranger
It's nice to meet you sir
We'll I guess I'll go
I best be on my way out
Ignorance is your new best friend

We tried so hard to understand but we can't

We held the world out in our hands and you ran away

It takes some time to let you go and it shows
Cause all we know is falling it falls
Remember how cause I know that we won't forget at all

And the worse part is before it gets any better we're headed for a cliff
And in the free fall I will realize that I'm better off when I hit the bottom

If it's not real you can't hold it in your hand
You can't feel it with your heart and I won't believe it
But if it's true you can see it with you eyes even in the dark
And that's where I want to be

If you wanna play it like a game well come on let's play
Cause I'd rather waste my life pretending
Than have to forget you for a whole minute

And when it rains
You always find an escape just running away from everything
You made yourself a bed at the bottom of the blackest hole
And convince yourself that it's not the reason you don't see the sun anymore

You look like I did you resist me just like this
You can't tell me to heal it hurts remembering how it felt to shut down

Maybe I know somewhere deep in my soul that love never last
We've got to find other ways to make it alone to keep our straight face
And I've always lived like this keep it at a comfortable distance
And up until now I swore to myself that I'm contented with loneliness
Because none of it was ever worth the risk

I am told that this is life
Pain is just a simple compromise so we can get what we want out of it
You can't turn back because this road is all you'll ever have

         

Paramore . 

So much to say so little time, long time no see and got jitters all the time.

Hey there.

I used to feel so gloomy everytime this person came across my mind and I would listen to The Fray - How To Save A Life and press the repeat button on the playlist and sing "Where did I go wrong I lost a friend somewhere along the bitterness and I would have stayed up with you all night had I known how to save a life." 

It was very frustrating to be in that position when the one you trust the most pushed you away.

But then there's something in me that made me make up my mind and decide to see the person.

And these are what happens when you meet the person after a bloody hell one & a half year of not talking because of some undiscovered stupid conflicts.

1. Act like you know nothing about the person's current life when the truth is you do the stalking to keep yourself updated and bookmark all the articles related to him.

2. Very nervous while you're on the way to meet the person until you'll get lost.

3. Have jitters all the time.

4. You'll ask for Coffee when what you really want is Cappuccino.

5. Super awkward, you'll sip the bitter coffee and laugh at yourself and you will talk less.

6. As you talk, the person will stare at you and you can see a pair of shiny eyes.

7. Will be less annoying than you supposed to be and have a fucking weird feelings but you'll love it.

8. Have loads and loads of things to share but just don't know where to start.

9. And at the end of the day you'll realize that you really miss the person despite of everything that happened before. 

I think I look cute in this picture haha

10. You will wish to see the person again and that's why you send looooong texts to the person just to make yourself calm so that you can sleep.

Additional stupid behaviour: Because of the eagerness to post this, you'll get confused on which of the tenses that you should use so you decide to just write and ignore all of it and write like a total stupid, plus you forgot to tag the photos with your name like you always did on the photos that was published on your blog before.

Okay, bye!